Are you a busy wife and mom with a husband that’s craving your attention? Read on for tips on making time for your husband when you have kids.
Do you remember what life was like before you had kids? Or do you remember what your relationship with your spouse was like before you had kids? You likely had a lot more time on your hands. More time to spend together one-on-one. More time for date nights and spontaneity. Things didn’t have to be planned out all the time. You could pick up and go out together for the night or have a weekend away without having to worry about a babysitter and all the other arrangements that come with that. Kids can be all-consuming sometimes!
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Why spending time with your husband is important?
With kids in the picture, it’s easy to lose focus on your spouse. But there are so many reasons why staying connected with your spouse is so important. Spending time together brings you closer and strengthens your relationship in general. You’ll have a tighter bond and someone to rely on, who understands what you’re going through as a parent. Your spouse can also help to relieve some of your burdens and give you a break when you really need the help.
He’s someone who can help you through tough times and meet your physical and emotional needs when you need it. He’ll help you take a break from just thinking about your kids, allowing you to have mature adult conversations (not always talking about “kid” stuff). But you may miss out on all these benefits if you don’t put forth the effort to spend time with him.
Making time for your husband when you have kids
As a busy mom, how do you get quality time with your spouse? Here are my best suggestions:
1. Be intentional about it.
Schedule it on your calendar like any other appointment or commitment and don’t cancel. Whether it’s a date night once a month or winding down together every night after the kids have gone to sleep. Clear everything off your schedule (and off your mind!) and just make this your time to just focus on him.
2. Nightly date nights.
This it the route my husband and I usually take, especially since we may not get a regular date night out. Reconnect every night. Talk about your day. Tell him how you feel. Listen to him. Review your plans for the next day, week, or month together. It’s a great time to reconnect and make sure you’re on the same page for the days to come.
3. Check in regularly.
Try not to go the whole day without talking to your spouse. Check in at lunch time or whenever you can with a text or phone call to see how they’re doing. You never know when he’ll need a pick me up, especially if he’s having a rough day.
4. Have your kids on a schedule (if they’re old enough).
This will help you have a set time on a regular basis to wind down with your husband. It helps when everyone has a good nightly routine and can settle down at a predictable time each night. Having uninterrupted time together as a married couple is crucial for a great relationship.
5. Plan a weekend away.
My husband loves this, since he says it’s the only time he can have me to himself!. It doesn’t have to be far; a local bed and breakfast works well. Spend a few days giving your spouse your undivided attention, with no kids, electronics or other distractions. Focus on just him.
6. Do things with him that he enjoys.
My husband is a huge football fan, so we have season tickets for our local college and NFL teams. I’m his “right hand gal” when it comes to the games, going along with him (and enjoying the food while I’m there!). It’s a great time for us to spend together, doing something that he enjoys.
Making time for your husband when you have kids has so many benefits for both you and him. It doesn’t always happen naturally, especially when you have a lot on your plate. Be intentional and find creative ways to fit quality time into your schedule. Remember, he’s the one that will be around after all the kids are gone. Be sure to build and nurture that relationship now. You don’t want to look at him in 20 years and realize you no longer know who that person is because you were so focused on the kids and all your other “to do’s” and forgot about him!
Other helpful resources related to making time for your husband:
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