Going from the toddler years to Elementary School can feel like a huge relief. You’re hopefully done with temper tantrums, and the terrible 1’s, 2’s, and 3’s. But, that doesn’t mean the next stage is that much easier. As they get older there’s more homework, school activities, and extra-curricular activities to keep track of. We, as moms, still carry the burden of helping our kids to balance it all at this age. Right now, I have 2 kids in this stage, and 2 that have already gone through it. So, I’ll share with you my best advice to moms of elementary-schoolers.
1. It’s your child’s homework, not yours
Teach your child that homework is HIS responsibility. You’ve been through elementary school already. Don’t feel like you have to be responsible for him getting his work done and turning it in. Of course, as a mom, you should be there to help out as needed, but don’t stress yourself out about it. Encourage your child to be his best, and to put out his best work. In the end, they’re HIS grades and it’s HIS future, not yours. If he doesn’t want to do what he should, then he just doesn’t get the rewards that come along with it.
2. Enforce chores
From a very early age, kids should help around the house. Start by teaching your child to clean up after himself. After he’s done playing with something, he should put it back where it belongs. Once mealtime is over, have your child clean off his section of the table. You can create a reward system, if you choose to, to remind your kid to stay on top of his chores. Giving your kid chores also means that’s one less thing you have to do in the house.
3. Be consistent with discipline
By now, your child should understand right from wrong. It’s important to stay on top of discipline, and to dish out consequences when necessary. Positive and negative reinforcement usually work well. Reward good behaviors by giving your child something he loves. It doesn’t have to be material – it could just be a hug, kiss, or verbal praise. If your child does something that needs to be punished, take away something that he loves. Again, it doesn’t have to be physical – you could just take away your attention. I recommend staying away from spanking, since it really isn’t beneficial for changing behaviors. It can actually cause more harm than good. Most importantly, be consistent with your discipline. Don’t tolerate lying, stealing, or disrespect. And make sure that everyone taking care of your child is on the same page.
4. Aim for a balanced diet
Many infants are great eaters early on, but then become picky as toddlers and older kids. Continue to offer balanced meals, even if yours is more drawn to chicken nuggets, french fries, and pizza. The more you offer something, the more likely he is to eventually pick it up and eat it. This will help to avoid obesity in their future!
5. Limit screen time
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours of screen time per day for school-aged kids. This includes the TV, laptop, ipad, etc. Have your child read a book, play outside, play a game – do something else besides staring at a screen all day. Also, make sure all of their chores, homework, and responsibilities are done before the screens turn on.
6. Don’t expect a genius
Children are not created equally. Believe me, with 5 kids in my house, I’ve seen different abilities, talents, and interests. Just because your first child was on the honor roll doesn’t mean they all will be. Don’t put unnecessary stress on your child or yourself. Encourage your child to do his very best, and that’s all that really matters!
7. Allow your child to make mistakes
I don’t know about you, but I learn a lot from my mistakes. So, we should give our children the freedom to make mistakes. Encourage your child to try new things, even if he thinks he’s going to fail. Failure can sometimes be a good thing. Allow him to make his own decisions, as long as it won’t cause any serious harm.
8. Enforce manners
I’ve seen a lot of children in my day-to-day practice who haven’t really learned or seem to have forgotten their manners. Teach your child to say please and thank you, to hold the door open for those coming in behind him, to knock on a closed door before opening it, to share. Basically teach him to treat everyone with respect – especially adults. You’re the adult in your home. Don’t allow your child to run the show. Believe me, I see a lot of households run by the children, and it never turns out well.
9. Participate in your child’s activities
Stay as involved as you can in your child’s activities. Participate in their classroom, with the PTA, or chaperone field trips if you can. If they play a sport or have an outside activity, attend practices, games, performances, and competitions. Root for him. Be your child’s biggest cheerleader. Let him know you support him 100%.
10. Get their annual wellness exam
It’s easy to forget to bring your child to the doctor, especially if he rarely gets sick. Following the usual schedule, your child will get shots at ages 5, 11, and 16. The schools won’t remind you to get that check-up because he isn’t due for shots. Between these ages, it’s still important for your child to be seen to make sure he’s growing and developing normally. Besides, he still needs his flu shot every year!
11. Pay attention to your child
Kids in elementary school can sometimes be “forgotten”, especially if there are multiple children in the home. They still need lots of love and attention as they’re growing, becoming more independent, and trying to figure out life. Talk to your child, and most importantly, listen. Allow your child to tell you all about his day. Ask questions. Give him your full attention. Make sure that your child knows you’re there for them, no matter what. I know he may no longer be that cute little baby or toddler. But, he still can’t do this whole “life” thing on his own. Stay in tune with his emotions. Pick up signs of anxiety and depression early on, and get them addressed. Give lots of hugs and kisses, because pretty soon they’ll be that teenager who no longer wants them!
12. Show your child he’s loved
Do the cute, gushy things like dates at school, notes in lunch bags, goodie bags for holidays, hugs and kisses at drop-off and pick up. Kids deal with a lot in the four walls of school but knowing, seeing, and feeling that you are loved—makes those walls non-existent. (Jasmine Ambeau). You can get your free printable Love Notes For Kids at the bottom of this post!
13. Don’t just rely on the teacher
Play your part. NEVER leave the education of your child 100% in the hands of ANY one. As parents, we are our child’s first teacher. (Jasmine Ambeau)
14. Be understanding
Always try to understand that an entire day happened to them before they get home. Don’t expect them to bounce in totally fresh and normal. Talk to them lots. Dig deep so that you can learn how to respond to how they’re feeling (and get them to still achieve homework and chores!). (lifeinlittleshoes)
15. Don’t rush your child to grow up
Adulting is hard. Don’t rush your child out of this phase too soon. Children these days are being forced into the tween and teen phases, by being exposed to so many things that were unknown to us as kids. The internet plays a huge role in this. Encourage your child to play with toy cars and baby dolls for as long as they want to! It all goes by too fast!
Do you have any other tips for moms of elementary school-aged kids? Leave a comment below!
Want an easy way to show your child how much you love them? Get your free printable “Love Notes For Kids” by filling out the box below. It includes 24 notes you can use to encourage your kids on a regular basis. You’ll also get access to my Resource Library with tons of helpful printables and checklists, plus my weekly newsletter to help you balance your many roles. Check it out!
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