Theodore Roosevelt really knew what he was talking back in the early 1900’s. When he made the statement “comparison is the thief of joy”, it’s almost like he knew Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat would become so popular. I know I’ve accomplished a lot in my life and have an awesome husband, and beautiful kids. But, at times I still catch myself comparing my life to the ones I see around me.

I know I’m not alone.

So many of us do it every single day. As women, we can either use those comparisons to make ourselves better, or to just moan and complain about what we don’t have. You have the power to decide.

Stealing Joy

There’s been a huge rise in anxiety and depression all over the world recently. A lot of this comes from comparison. We see what others have and we stress ourselves out to get it – to have their lives. On social media, we see the happy families, the beautiful children, homes, cars, vacations, and we sit and wonder why our lives don’t compare. We’ve all though: “She’s prettier than me. She’s more popular, more successful and makes more money than me. Her children are better behaved than mine. Their house is bigger than ours.”

You can’t always get rid of the thoughts. But the big thing is what you do with those thoughts, and how you allow those thoughts to affect. That can really make or break you. If you allow these comparisons to lead to sad feelings, it’ll just start to eat you up. Don’t get caught up in self-doubt, lower our self esteem, and think you’ll never be able to live up to the standard that everyone else has. That just adds to your stress and messes with your mental health. Don’t let it happen!

What you see is not always true

The reality is that people pick and choose what they tell us, and especially what they post online. If we’re having a bad day, most of us won’t brag or post about it. We tend to promote all the good in our lives, and hide the bad. We save the sad times for those close to us, those we trust. It’s just human nature. We want everyone else to think we’re OK, that we have it all together. When in reality none of us really do – especially not 100% of the time. If you sit all day and scroll through social media, you’ll get the false perception that “everyone’s got it all together except for me”, which is so not true. So many people are struggling with financial issues, family issues, relationship issues – list goes on. Don’t sit on the outside being envious of a life that’s not even real!

Be grateful for what you have

Instead of allowing comparison to steal your joy, have it force you to be grateful for what you have. Sure, your house may not be as big as theirs. But yours is filled with children, joy, and laughter. It may not always be spic and span, but you’ve got tons of art projects and memories that’ll warm your heart for years to come. Sure, you may not be able to go on the lavish vacations that they do. But your day-to-day life can be just as adventurous! Sure, she’s enjoying the single life, but you get to come home to a loving, reliable, comforting hubby everyday.

Who knows? The one you’re busy comparing yourself to may be looking at you the same way. She may envy the life you have, while you’re envying hers! She may be lacking in an area that you’re full. The old adage is true – the grass isn’t always greener on the other side!. Your life may not be perfect. But it’s yours. We all have a long list of things to be grateful for.

Better yourself

Comparison doesn’t have to be all evil, if you use it for the right purpose. You can absolutely admire someone else and their current position. But, respond by pushing yourself to work harder to reach or exceed that level. Push yourself to be the best you can be, instead of remaining stagnant and getting down on yourself. Your goal in this should not necessarily be to “out do” the next family, but to simply make yours better because it’s what’s best for YOU.

Please stay focused on your own path. It’s so easy to get distracted by all the other moms, wives, and working women out there. Stay focused on doing what you can to better yourself and your family. Don’t get distracted and off course from what you want to accomplish in life. Do the things that’ll make your personal end goal a reality, not just mimicking what everybody else is doing. Don’t allow anyone or anything to steal your joy, because comparison has a sneaky way of making that happen!.

For more encouragement on this topic, check out this post: “It’s All About Perspective”. It’s about a specific struggle I had with comparison, and how I thought my way through it.

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