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My two year-old has become a different person! All of his daycare teachers will tell you how sweet a kid he used to be. He’d share, he was a good listener, and he’d actually cry if another kid took a toy away from him. He was just a mild-mannered kid. There was very little that bothered him.

Then, in came the COVID-19 pandemic.

Schools closed. I still had to go into the office 4 days a week, while my husband started working from home. And even though our daycare was still open for a little while, my youngest stayed home with the rest of the crew. (Not so sure now if that was the best idea).

He picked up all types of teenage sayings and learned a bunch of Tiktok dances. Those are cute and all. But, he’s also started throwing full-on tantrums. He’s developed this deep, loud scream that almost sounds like a lion roaring when he doesn’t get his way. He refuses to take “no” for an answer. Even potty breaks are a huge chore – especially if you’re interrupting him from something “important” (like throwing legos in the toilet). I know that it’s normal for toddlers to go through a wide range of emotions within just a few minutes (or sometimes a few seconds). But…

we didn’t get here overnight...

While the older kids were virtual-schooling, my husband was trying to get some work done, and the baby (yes, he’s still my baby) was just fighting for attention. He wanted to play while no one else could. He wanted to do whatever he wanted. Whatever seemed fun in that very moment. My husband will admit that he contributed to the spoiling. If he was on a conference call or just needed to get some work done, it was just easier to give in to my son’s demands than to listen to him cry and whine. So, guess what? The crying and whining continued. And 4 months later, this is where we are.

I get it. I know he was just trying to survive. We all are. But, now we’ve got a totally different child on our hands.

I’m sure some of it is just the natural progression into the “terrible twos” (and threes). But, a lot of it is our fault. And it’s going to be best that we nip these habits now before they get too out of control. So, if you’re struggling – like we are – with changes in behavior, here are a few ideas for getting rid of your kids’ tantrums and bad habits:

Get on the same page

It’s so important that everyone around your child is on the same page when you want to change their behavior. In our house, that not only means my hubby and I as parents, but also the older kids. If even one of us gives in to his tantrums, then he learns who he can go to when he really wants something. So we all have to show a united front. Same for your home!

I admit that I fall into the same trap a lot, too. Even before COVID-19, my youngest was definitely spoiled by all of us. He’s the baby. We all definitely have a soft spot in our hearts for him. But letting him run wild hasn’t been doing us any good right about now.

Don’t be afraid to say “no”

This has been the biggest issue for us in our house. If my son wants a toy that one of the older kids has, they give it to him. If he wants to play with water at the dinner table, we let him. All so that we don’t have to deal with the tantrum that’s inevitable if we say “no”. But we’re only making things worse by basically letting him do whatever he wants. It’s unfair to the rest of the kids. And it only feeds into his bad behaviors. We’ll never get anywhere if he never hears no.

Say “yes” sometimes

It’s absolutely OK to bend the rules from time to time. As long as it won’t be a safety hazard, of course. This could be a late-night snack, jumping on the bed, or eating in a forbidden room. We have to be flexible as parents, and sometimes that means just jumping in and having fun with our kids. But, make it clear to your kids when you’re making an exception, so they still know what the rules are, and don’t think you’re going against your own word.

Ignore tantrums

Of course, I don’t want your child to hurt himself. But, if he’s in a safe place, then don’t feel bad about walking away when he starts crying and throwing himself to the ground. Kids throw tantrums so they can get attention – even if it’s negative attention. So, don’t give in to it! Give him time to throw his tantrum without an audience. Then allow him to come to you once he’s calmed down. Encourage him to “use his words”, even if he’s young (1 or 2). Ask him questions and help him to find the words, if he needs it. The earlier the better, when it comes to learning to express his feelings.

Make the rules clear

It’s unfair to expect your child to follow a rule that he knows nothing about. Make the rules clear to your kids. And the consequences, too. Reinforce them and remind your kids over and over if you have to. You can even put up a list of the “household rules” as a reminder.

Be consistent

This one is probably the MOST important out of all the tips. It’s so important that you enforce the rules of your house consistently. You’ll only leave your child confused if you don’t. He’ll also learn that he can get away with things if there’s no consequence. It’s also unfair to enforce a rule with one child and not the other. That’ll lead to sibling rivalry before you know it. Dish out warnings or consequences each time a rule is broken. And do it fairly among all your kids.

Take it seriously

Believe me, I know how tempting it is to laugh at something that your child does wrong. We’ve seen some crazy things in our house (like paintings on the floor and poop on the wall). But, you have to resist the temptation, and put on a serious face when you’re correcting your kid for the wrong he’s done. You can always let out a good laugh later on when you’re alone or with your hubby!

Praise good behavior

If your child’s had a streak of bad behavior, it may seem like he’s always getting in trouble or being disciplined for something. So, try to break things up by finding things to praise – even small things. If he was nice to a sibling. If he shared a toy. Or if he cleaned up a mess. Show him that he can get your attention by doing positive things, not always for negative things.

Get help

If things are really getting out of control, and you can’t get your child to listen – reach out for help. Talk to your child’s Pediatrician. Get in touch with a counselor. A lot of behavior issues can be corrected with the tips I mentioned above. But, some families will need help from a mental health professional to bring some peace back to the house. Don’t be ashamed if that’s your family. The earlier you get your child the help he needs, the better (for him, and your entire family).

As for my son, I know the sweet little boy I once knew is hiding somewhere in that 2 year-old body. And I know with a little extra effort we can get his behavior back on track. COVID-19 has just thrown us all out of whack. We just have to be both persistent and patient to help him come on back around!

If you’re looking for some easy positive reinforcement for your kids, get your free printable “Love Notes For Kids” by filling out the box below. It includes 24 notes you can use to encourage your kids on a regular basis. You’ll also get access to my Resource Library with tons of helpful printables and checklists, plus my weekly newsletter to help you balance your many roles. Check it out!

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For more tips, check out this related article: Is Your Kid Running Your House? | Tips For Getting Control.

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