Do you find yourself doing more than you should for your kids? Keep reading for a few tips on how to teach your kids to be more responsible.

As a Pediatrician and a mom, I see children each day who are showered with all the luxuries of life. And unfortunately, not truly earning the things they are given. Not truly learning much about responsibility. Children breaking the rules, putting forth little effort in school, making failing grades, and not helping around the house.

In the meantime, they have parents who are bending over backwards and doing whatever it takes to keep them happy. Throwing huge birthday parties, giving fancy gifts, rewards and privileges that they haven’t earned. I’ve also seen so many children who are used to their parents doing everything for them. Yet they aren’t learning any of the basic life skills they need to take care of themselves.

I have to admit that I’ve been guilty of this from time to time. But, one good thing about the COVID-19 pandemic and my children being home for a year – they have learned a lot about responsibility. They have learned to do things around the house that they never used to do before. Preparing meals, keeping their spaces clean, helping out around the house, staying on top of their schoolwork, and the list goes on.

Why should you teach your kids to be responsible?

There are so many reasons I can think of for this one! Teaching your kids to be more responsible now prepares them for real life in the long run. It helps them to mature and develop the skills they need as an adult in this world. Children must learn that there are consequences and rewards for their behaviors now and as they grow.

When your kids are responsible and can help you out around the house, this lessens your load. It takes some household tasks off your plate as a busy mom. There’s also less for you to worry about, remember, and keep track of when your children are doing more for themselves.

By allowing your children to earn things rather than simply being given whatever they want, they will start to learn the value of those “things”. They will start to learn that “hard work pays off”. We all know that we value something more and take better care of it when we work for it, and the same is true for our children.

Responsibility can also teach your children the value of helping others and working as a team (ex: cleaning their portion of the house yet being able to enjoy the entire house being clean).

How to teach your kids to be more responsible

1. Teach your children how to set up and follow their own routines.

This will be different for every household and may be different for each child. Help your children write out all the tasks they need to complete each weekday morning and evening, plus Sunday evening (to prepare for the week ahead). You can also create a timeline or checklists that can be laminated and used each day. Picture checklists may be helpful for younger kids.

2. Give your child a planner or calendar.

Teach them to keep track of assignments and extra-curricular activities. Remind them to keep track of the items they need for each assignment or activity, and to make note of due dates or deadlines.

3. Assign your children chores to do around the house.

These can be daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. Chore cards may be helpful to rotate the chores if you have multiple children. You can grab my printable chore cards as a part of my Balanced Mom Toolbox. 

4. Invite your children to join you in the kitchen.

Teach your kids to cook alongside you. Then have them branch out and prepare meals on their own. Make it a regular occurrence (once a week, month, or every day) so they get used to cooking and learn what actually goes into preparing meals for your family. 

5. Have your children do their own laundry.

This includes sorting, washing, drying, and folding. Definitely a life skill they’ll need, and something that will take a huge load off your shoulder (pun intended).

6. Teach your kids how to manage their money.

If your kids are earning money from chores, an actual job or receiving money for their birthday or other holidays, teach them how to manage it early on. Allow your kids to buy things for themselves that you would’ve previously bought (like snacks and small toys). Teach them how to bargain shop. And show your older kids how to create a budget and balance a bank account. Dave Ramsey has excellent resources for teaching your kids about money management.

7. Don’t bail your kids out

If your child gets in trouble at school (or anywhere else, gets a bad grade, or fails at something, resist the urge to step in. Teach your children that there are consequences (and rewards) for their choices. And that there are lessons to learn in mistakes.

Teaching your child to be responsible has so many benefits for both you and them. As a busy mom, raising your kids to be responsible will help to relieve some of the burden that you carry every single day. It can reduce your stress and give you less things to think about. Not only that, teaching your child to be responsible now will help him to become a responsible adult. You want your child to be a positive impact on society (and not a menace). We must teach our children to be responsible, realizing that there are no “hand-outs” in life. I encourage you to start now, to prepare our kids for what life has in store for them. Be sure to implement at least a few of these suggestions today!

Other helpful resources related to teaching your kids to be more responsible:

• Are We Doing Too Much For Our Children?
• How To Get Out of the House On Time

If you love these tips, be sure to check out my 170+ page digital library, filled with step-by-step instructions and  the tools you need to create effective routines, manage your time, prepare meals,  clean your home, care for your kids – and so much more! 

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