Have you ever felt like your toddler was just out to make your life difficult? My toddler is the youngest of 5. He’s the baby boy, and absolutely knows it. He knows he has a special place in my heart, and boy does he milk it for all it’s worth! As a baby, he was definitely the most “cuddly” of them all. But, this kid has turned into a totally different creature since learning to walk and talk…since becoming a toddler! One minute he’s the sweet, happy boy that everyone else is used to seeing. The next minute, he releases his wrath on me! I’m telling you, I think my toddler’s out to get me!
Exhaustion from the beginning…
My youngest has been a not-so-great sleeper from day 1. I figured this out in the hospital, right after he was born. I’d feed him. He’d fall asleep. I’d put him down. And he’d wake right back up. He was truly allergic to the bassinet! After an unexpected c-section, I was just exhausted and in too much pain to handle it. He’s actually my only newborn that I’ve ever sent to the hospital nursery for a few hours.
The same cycle continued once we got home. It took him a looooong time to learn to sleep by himself. And, even now, he starts off on his own for 1/2 the night then somehow ends up cuddled up with me by 2am. He loves to sleep…just not by himself! Needless to say, the past 2 years have been exhausting!
Then, there’s his confusing independence vs co-dependence…
There are some points of the day when he wants to be independent. He wants to be down, walking and running on his own. Other times, he wants to be carried everywhere. Of course, those also happen to be the times I’m trying to get things done, or am carrying other things and just can’t pick him up. This is exactly why my biceps get a work out without me having to step foot in the gym!
I struggle a lot with trying to get him to do ANYTHING he doesn’t want to. He used to like taking a bath. But, he’s figured out that bath time + milk = bed time. So, now he’s kicking and screaming all the way to the bathroom and all through his bath every night. Washing and combing his hair, brushing his teeth, and changing his diaper are the worst things in the world to him. He wants to do things on his own – like putting on his socks, shoes, and clothes by himself. But he still can’t do most of it without help and gets frustrated when he can’t. And if you try to help, he’ll tell you to “go away!”. It all stresses him out and stresses me out too!
I think he’s trying to starve himself…
My son loves to eat – most of the time. Shrimp, chicken, mac’n cheese, tacos, strawberries and green beans are all his favorites. Some days he eats his food plus most of mine, then I’m left hungry! (And people ask me why I’m so thin!). Other days I make him exactly what I know he loves, and it’s like he’s never tasted it before. He goes on a straight-up hunger strike. When he doesn’t want anymore, he doesn’t tell you he’s “all done” like he knows he should. Instead, he just tosses his plate of food all over the floor. At least he keeps the dog happy! But, I don’t know how he keeps his cute little chubby cheeks. Nor how I keep my sanity.
He’s also trying to give me a heart attack…
He’s a toddler. And he’s a boy. There’s no shortage of daredevil stunts for him. He stands on top of toys – and sometimes a table or chair – and starts to count down. If you hear “5, 4, 3, 2, 1” – you know he’s about to jump. Luckily, we always manage to catch him just in time. Whoever is the closest just has to grab him. But he’s never happy that we just saved his life!
The mood swings are real for this one…
One minute he’s happy and playing. Until he’s told he can’t have or do something. Within seconds, he’s down on the ground in a full-on tantrum. If I can distract him with something else, he’s right back to being that smiling kid within seconds. That’s only until the next “no”. Boy, I thought my girls were moody!
He speaks really well and most of the time we can understand what he wants. But, sometimes we just don’t get it. He gets frustrated. Then another big-time tantrum ensues. Sometimes, we just don’t know what this kid wants. Sometimes, I don’t think he even knows what he wants!
He can be tired and miserable, but fight against going to sleep. He can be hungry yet refuse to eat. He’ll really want something, then when he gets it, he gives it right back. I just don’t get it!
But is there a reason behind all the madness?
Luckily, I’m able to block out all this craziness when I snuggle with him at night. He rarely lets anyone else put him to sleep, so we get that quiet time together nightly – just the two of us. In those times, I think about everything that could be going through his little head. He doesn’t want to sleep alone because he just loves his mommy that much. He doesn’t want anyone else to put him to sleep because he doesn’t see me for most of the day. He’s making up for missed time. He misses me, and I miss him.
My toddler loves his independence, but he just wants me to carry him sometimes to make sure that mommy’s arms will always be there for him. Plus, his little legs get tired. They can’t always keep up!
I remind myself that he doesn’t have to always want what I give him to eat. Besides, I wouldn’t always want someone else to dictate what and when I eat! He won’t always want to do what I want him to do. My toddler has a right to have an opinion. Even though he’s small, his feelings still matter. I have to let him try and learn new things. Sometimes, that means letting him learn the hard way. Of course, I aim to keep him safe and healthy. But I have to remember to give him the freedom he needs to grow, since he learns best by exploring the world around him.
I have to realize that most of his actions have a meaning behind them. He throws tantrums, cries, and whines because he’s learning how to express his little self. He doesn’t always know how to tell me he’s hungry or tired. I have to be the one to interpret that for him. While he doesn’t have all the words he needs, he does the best he can right now.
I just have to be there to help him get all those thoughts and emotions out.
I have to remind myself that I play a pretty important role in shaping him into the big boy and man he’ll soon be.
My toddler’s little world can be confusing and quite frustrating for him. He doesn’t know what he wants all the time. And even if he does, he can’t always express it. He’s not really out to make my life miserable. He’s just trying to figure this all out. Even though he’s growing up, he’s still my baby. He’s not really out to get me. He just needs me to be there for him, in spite of how crazy this time may be.
Do you have a toddler at home? Leave a comment below and let me know if you can relate!
Also, check out the other posts in the toddler series:
My Best Advice To Moms of Toddlers, Medical Concerns in Toddlers, and Potty Training Your Toddler.
Plus, a post on toddler behavior that I found personally helpful: 11 Toddler Behavior Problems And How To Handle Them.
If you’re a toddler mom, you can get my free printable “Potty Training Reward Chart” by filling out the box below. It includes an easy sheet to track your child’s progress on the potty, along with tips for success. You’ll also get access to my Resource Library with tons of helpful printables and checklists, plus my weekly newsletter to help you balance your many roles. Check it out!
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