Living With ADHD | Helping Your Child

Imagine being 10 years old and sitting in a classroom. You’re trying so hard to listen to the teacher, but you keep staring off into space and can’t retain anything they’re saying. Your teacher asks the class a question and you blurt out the answer because you can’t contain yourself. You have a hard time staying in your seat and you make humming noises when everyone else is quiet. Living with ADHD can be tough.

At home, it takes you over 2 hours to finish your homework because you just can’t stay focused. You finally finish your homework, but instead of turning it in the next day, it stays in your book bag for days. Your book bag is full of such papers – old homework, important papers you forgot to give to your parents to sign, unfinished classwork, etc. Your parents ask you to put something away at home. You look at them right in the face when they’re talking. But 5 minutes later, you forgot what they asked. And now you’re in trouble. You get labeled as the “bad” or “irresponsible” kid. Even though you’re absolutely brilliant and just can’t control certain things.

This is how it feels to be living with ADHD.

My Experience

As a mom of a child with ADHD, this was all too real for me. It took some time to realize that these behaviors weren’t intentional. It’s easy to think your child is being disruptive or forgetful on purpose. You may even think they’re being just plain lazy.

As a Pediatrician, I’ve come across hundreds of kids with ADHD who are gifted. They have near-perfect scores on their standardized tests, like my kid. But, without the proper help, they may never reach their full potential. Because of their behaviors, they don’t always get along well with their siblings or other kids at school. They have trouble learning in the classroom because they just can’t pay attention. Their grades may suffer. Sometimes, they even put themselves or others around them in danger because they’re so impulsive.

But, many times, parents are afraid of the ADHD diagnosis. They don’t accept that their child has it, or they’re simply afraid of the label. They’re also afraid of the bad things they’ve heard about the medications. Their children go years suffering, without intervention, because they’re afraid. I’ve met these parents, and I was even one of them. The common theme is that we wished we would have helped our children sooner.

If you have a child living with ADHD, please don’t be afraid!

So, What is ADHD?

Children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder)
have difficulty controlling certain behaviors. It is a true condition of the brain, that affects up to 12% of children in school. It is more common in boys than girls.

There are 3 different types of ADHD. The Inattentive type (previously known as ADD) have trouble focusing. This can be harder to diagnose because these children are not disruptive, and it’s just not always obvious. The Hyperactive type have difficulty controlling their impulses and are hyperactive, but have no problem with focusing. The Combined Type (inattentive + impulsive) is the most common type. These children have difficulty with both focusing and impulsiveness/hyperactivity.

 

How is ADHD Diagnosed?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children with school or behavior problems, and problems with focusing or impulsiveness be evaluated for ADHD. The child should have symptoms in at least 2 different settings (like home, school, or activities). This is because the child shouldn’t be able to control their symptoms, no matter where they are or who they’re with. The symptoms should make it hard for the child to function in daily activities like school, relationships, or sports teams. They should also display signs before they’re 12 years old, and the symptoms should be present for at least 6 months.

Of course, as a Pediatrician, I can’t make this diagnosis by myself. I rely on input from teachers, parents, and sometimes siblings. The NICHQ Vanderbilt Assessment Scales is the recommended screening tool for ADHD. It includes brief surveys for parents and teachers. It focuses on ADHD behaviors. The surveys also help to diagnose anxiety, depression, oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorders, and learning disorders. These can all be related to ADHD.

How is ADHD Managed?

Children as young as 4-5 years can be diagnosed and living with ADHD. But, at this age, behavior therapy is recommended for treatment initially. Your family and your child would work along with a psychologist/therapist to address and change the problem behaviors. Medications are usually recommended if behavior therapy fails. For children 6 years and older, medications are recommended first. That’s because these children usually get better results than with therapy.

The recommended medications are in the Stimulant family (the old school “Ritalin”, and lots of newer variations). I know a lot of parents who are hesitant about these medications, but I have seen excellent results in hundreds of patients on them. Of course, all medications have side effects. So, have an in-depth conversation with your Pediatrician when making this decision. Your child should be followed closely by his Pediatrician if he’s started on ADHD medication. That way, the medication and dose can be changed if necessary. In order to maximize the effectiveness and minimize side effects.

Resources Available

If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, their treatment doesn’t just start and stop at the doctor’s office. Most schools can provide accommodations to help with their learning experience. Talk to your child’s school about a 504 Plan – which is a plan provided for children with any “disability”. Children with ADHD can benefit from one-on-one instruction, reminders to stay on task, sitting closer to the front of the classroom, and extended time for assignments and tests. These small things can make a huge difference in their academic success.

Supporting Your Child at Home

It’s important for parents to stay in-tuned with their kids with ADHD. Encourage your child to write their assignments down in a planner. Make an outline of their morning and evening routines that they should follow on a daily basis. Add in any chores they’re responsible for. Place sticky notes around the house with reminders. Have them clean out their book bags nightly, so that papers don’t pile up. It’s important to help them to be as organized as possible.

This post share some helpful tips for Surviving Homework Time, especially with a kid with ADHD.

I highly recommend grabbing my printable Daily Schedule Template and Sample Schedule. It’s a helpful visual for your child and helps to keep their days organized. You can grab yours now, along with tons of helpful digital resources, as a part of my Balanced Mom Toolbox.

Take Away

ADHD can have significant effects on a child’s education, well-being, and social interactions. Children who become adults with untreated ADHD can end up with continued problems in school, problems with the law, failed relationships, and inability to keep a job. But, kids and adults with treated ADHD can be truly functional and can get rid of their negative “labels”. It takes first identifying that there really is a problem, accepting it, and doing something about it! So, don’t hesitate!

Are you the mom of a child with ADHD? Or are you living with ADHD yourself? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments below!

My printable Getting Out On Time checklists and timelines work well for for both parents and kids – especially when ADHD is in play. As a part of my Balanced Mom Toolbox, the set includes checklists for Sunday evening, and weekday morning and evenings. I’ve also included a timeline for your weekday mornings. These have been a lifesaver for our household. You’ll get my completed samples to use as a guideline, and blank templates for you to customize to fit your own needs. You’ll also receive tons of other helpful printables, checklists, and guides to help you organize your life and balance your many roles. Grab yours now!

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