Teaching Your Kids To Be Inclusive

Are you struggling to teach your kids about differences? Here are a few tips for teaching your kids to be inclusive.

We’ve all had those moments as parents. You’re out with your kids and come across someone who appears to be different. The first time it happens, you freeze because you’re not sure how it’ll go. Will your child stare? Will he say something inappropriate?

My daughter’s experience

When my oldest son was born, his big sister was 3 years old. I found out during my pregnancy that he had a heart condition that needed to be fixed pretty soon after he was born. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I’d need to prepare my daughter before-hand, since her baby brother would be “different” than other babies she’d seen. Luckily, the Child Life team at the Children’s Hospital had it all under control. They used a rag doll (that we still have!) to explain to her in “toddler terms” what would happen to her brother after he was born, and normalized the whole thing for her. I think that was the first time she really understood that some kids were different. And from that early age, she understood that different = special in a good way!

As my son got a little older, I remember another child making fun of the surgery scars on his chest while they were all playing outside for “water day”. His big sister stood up for him like I’ve never seen before, and I was so proud! She explained that he had a “special heart” and “special boo boos” that made him super strong – just like the Child Life Specialists had explained to her. It’s amazing how much these kids absorb and remember at such a young age.

Like other moms, I’ve also been on the other side with my kids. We could just be walking through the mall or playing at the park and come across another child with a handicap. As kids, they can’t help but to stare and ask questions.

Tips for teaching your kids to be inclusive

So many of us as parents have had similar encounters. So, how do you handle it? Or how do you prepare your children beforehand, to prevent awkward moments, and – most importantly – teach them to understand and accept differences?

Explain that different doesn’t mean bad

This is such an important step. Your kids should understand that no one person on this earth is perfect. We were all created to be special and unique. Everyone brings something special to the table. Just because someone appears or behaves different than they do, doesn’t mean that’s a bad thing. Teach your kids that “different” can actually be a very good thing. Teach them to be helpful when someone else is struggling with something that they’re good at. Because you never know when it’s your child that will need the help.

It may also be helpful to have your child point out similarities they may have with another child who appears to be “different”. It’s amazing how many things they might actually have in common once your child really thinks about it.

If you’re looking for help with getting a conversation about race and racism started, download this printable with Racism Conversation Starters For Kids here.

Teach kindness at home

It’s so important to teach your kids to be kind from the very beginning. It’s never OK to put anyone else down. Never OK to feel like they’re better than the next kid. Of course, siblings are going to bicker and argue. They may even call each other names. But, as parents, we have to intervene to make sure our kids know it’s never OK to mean or a bully. Kindness is always the way to go. It’s much harder to teach kindness when they’re older and more stubborn.

Set a good example

As parents, we have to show your kids how to be accepting and inclusive. It’s not enough to just tell them the right thing to do. You have to live it yourself. Volunteer to help those who are less fortunate. Whether it’s your time, money, or other resources. Don’t let your kids overhear you criticizing or putting others down. Kids truly mirror what they see. They’re always listening. Don’t be a bully, if you don’t want your kids to be!

Practice the Golden Rule

Say it with me now “do unto others and you would have them to do unto you.” If we all treated the next person the way we want to be treated, the world would be a must better place! Instill this into your kids from early on. I know my kids are SO tired of hearing me say this!

Teach your child to be a leader

Your child doesn’t have to be a complete extrovert, in charge of her friend group. But, teach her to have a voice. To make independent decisions. She shouldn’t just go along with her friends, especially if those friends are being mean to another child who’s a little different. Teach her to stand out and set an example for her friends when they’re doing the wrong thing. It may not always be the popular thing, but it’s the right thing.

Teach inclusion, Avoid exclusion

My kids have been lucky enough to be exposed to a wide variety of kids at their Elementary School. They’ve had friends in their classrooms, after-school program and extra-curricular activities with Down’s Syndrome, Autism, other developmental delays – and even friends who are trans-gendered. Although they can recognize the differences, they don’t treat these kids any different than the rest. It warms my heart to see them play together, without a second thought. Teach your kids to set an example by including other kids in their play group who may be a little different, or who may be shunned by others.

One huge reason inclusion is so important to me as a Pediatrician is that it helps to prevent bullying down the line. Bullying excludes kids, and leave them feeling helpless and alone. If we can teach our kids to be inclusive early on, we can prevent so many cases of anxiety, depression, and suicide in young people. I’d LOVE to see all of this erased from the kids I see!

It’s amazing how much of a role we play in shaping our kids’ thoughts about those that are just a little different than us.

Autism Awareness

On this World Autism Awareness Day, I encourage you to set a good example for your kids. Encourage them to be kind to everyone they come across, no matter how different they are. You may not be able to impact every single child, but you can make a difference by raising yours the right way. Hopefully, their kindness will be an example to all the other kids they come across. Let’s start a ripple effect!

Do you have any other tips for teaching your kids to be inclusive? I’d love to hear them! Just leave them in the comments below.

If you’re looking for a simple way to show your kids some love. Grab my printable “Love Notes For Kids” as a part of my Balanced Mom Toolbox below. It includes 24 notes you can use to encourage your kids on a regular basis. Your child can also use them to show those around them some love, too!

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