“How can I be more emotionally supportive?” It’s a question I hear from so many women. And something I ask myself all the time.

It isn’t easy playing the roles of both wife and mom. If your kids are anything like mine, they demand a whole lot of attention. You have to meet their basic needs, plus drive them around to activities, help with schoolwork, and support them in every way (I’m not complaining, I promise). When you add it all up, it’s surprising that there’s enough time in the day for anything else.

But, what about your husband?

If you’re busy wrapped up in your kids (or your job, your friends, yourself), who does he have left to turn to for support? The reality is that he needs you (just like you need him). So how exactly do you fit that into your busy life?

 First, a quick story:

When I started my Pediatric residency, I was in the process of a divorce. On some rotations, I worked 30-hour shifts, and I had 2 kids to raise from my previous marriage. My now-husband (who I’ve known since I was 13) was my anchor during that crazy time. He lived and worked 2 hours away, but would commute back and forth to help me out. he helped with pick ups and drop offs, taking care of the kids, making sure the house wasn’t a mess, etc. All while barely sleeping. But, he did it because he knew he was helping me fulfill my dream of becoming a Pediatrician.

It was overall a very emotional and stressful time. But he was my “knight in shining armor” helping me through it.

As my husband now, he still supports me. I don’t know how I’d manage without him. I clearly see how valuable it is to have a supportive spouse. And since my schedule is better now, I’ve been able to repay him with my support.

So, how do I do it? How can you do it?

Here are a 10 ways to support your husband:

Ask him what he needs

Your husband may not always come right out and tell you what he needs help with. Instead of assuming, just ask! What can you do to make his load a little lighter? What can you do to help him reach his next goal? How can you support him? Sit down and talk about it. You may be surprised at some of the answers you get. And once you get those answers, be willing to meet his needs.

Listen to him

Communication is so important in a marriage. Encourage your hubby to talk to you about whatever, whenever he needs to. He should know that you’re his ultimate support system. The one person who won’t judge him for his thoughts or feelings. The one person who won’t criticize or tear him down. Allow him to just let it all out when he’s with you. Be there to offer advice when he needs it. But don’t just talk. Be quiet, and truly listen.

Spending time together on a regular basis can help to open up the lines of communication.

Take his advice

One thing I know my husband can’t stand is when he gives me advice on something and I don’t take it! It makes him a whole lot less likely to give me advice the next time. So, I’ve learned not to do it (at least most of the time). Make it clear to your husband that his input is valued. If you don’t agree with his advice, let him know. And see if you can come to a reasonable compromise, on whatever it is.

Be flexible and willing to sacrifice

Supporting your husband may take some sacrifice on your part. I spoke to a woman the other day whose husband is starting medical school soon, and they have one child. They wanted to add to their family, but didn’t know what that would mean when he’s busy with school. Even if she really wanted another child right then, the best option may be holding off for a few years until he‘s less busy. Or understanding that she’d have to take on much of the responsibilities around the house and with the kids while he focused on school.

Your life plans may have to be shifted a bit in order for you to fully support your spouse. That doesn’t mean that you can’t still reach for your goals. But, you may have to sacrifice time, money, etc to help your hubby out in the short- or long-term. Your sacrifices should hopefully be well worth it in end. And you can always ask him to return the favor when it’s your time.

Push him to be better

My husband does a GREAT job at this (for me). If your hubby seems to be stuck in a rut or unsure of his next moves, gently nudge him along. Push him to go to the next level in whatever he’s doing – whether it’s his career, his hobby, or improving on bad habits. Encourage him to set goals and reach them. Hold him accountable. He may not be able to see all the potential in him. So, show him what you see.

Give him a dose of reality

While I do want you to push your husband to be better, sometimes you also have to be his voice of reason. If his goals seem unrealistic, or if he keeps jumping from one hobby or goal to the next, then it may be time to sit down and talk. Help him to re-do his plans to make them more realistic. Encourage him to stay focused and to see his plans through to the end. Again, help him to see what you see. And hopefully he’ll be grateful to you for helping him avoid a failure.

Praise him

Just like your kids, your hubby needs to hear a kind word from you every now and then. I know I’m guilty of pointing out to my husband things I don’t like more than things that I do. But I’ve realized that praise can really go a long way. When my husband feels appreciated, he’s more willing to do anything!

Remember what he likes

Pay attention to your husband’s interests, hobbies – anything that he likes. If he has a preference for something, try to incorporate it on a regular basis. He’ll love that you’re actually paying attention to the “little things”. I give you permission to spoil him!

Stand with him

No doubt your hubby will meet adversity at some point. Showing a unified front with him is one of the best ways to show support. Whether it’s with your kids, other family members, friends, his job, etc. Stay by his side through thick and thin. If he’s wrong, call him out on it privately. Not in front of other people. Respect is one thing that a man absolutely needs. He’ll be crushed if you take that away.

Give him some space

You don’t always have to be present, in front of your husband to show him support. Sometimes, what he really needs is some time to himself to get things done or to just “be”. We all deserve that. So give it to him!

Believe me, supporting your hubby is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. It helps to build trust, open the lines of communication, and just brings you closer together in the long run. I know life can be hard. But, try your best to stay supportive, no matter how crazy life gets!

Do you have any tips to add to these 10 ways to support your husband? I’d love to hear them! Just drop them in the comments below.

Want to remember this?

Pin this post – 10 Ways To Support Your Husband – to your favorite Pinterest board!

If you love these tips, be sure to check out my 170+ page digital library, filled with step-by-step instructions and  the tools you need to create effective routines, manage your time, prepare meals,  clean your home, care for your kids - and so much more!