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If you’re reading this, you likely have a pre-teen or teenage boy at home. or you have a boy who’s headed that way in a few years. As a mom, I know how much easier it is to guide your pre-teen or teen girl through puberty because you’ve been through it yourself. You know the changes your body went through. You know about the roller coaster of emotions. Even if you aren’t an expert in “all things puberty”, you can at least offer SOME guidance based on your experience. But, when it comes to puberty in boys, a lot of moms don’t really know what to expect and really don’t feel as equipped as we are with our girls. If I wasn’t a Pediatrician, I’d probably have no idea how to help my son! So, I’ll share some info here to hopefully answer the question I get asked by a lot of moms – “What’s different about puberty in boys?”

Timing

To start with, boys typically go into puberty a little later than girls. While girls usually start puberty between ages 9-14 years, boys normally start between ages 12-16 years. Growth spurts are usually associated with the start of puberty. And this is why girls are awkwardly taller than boys through middle school (since they start earlier). But, then the boys catch up and outgrow most girls by high school.

Physical Changes

As women, we’re familiar with the changes our own bodies went through during puberty. Breasts develop, hair grows under the arms and in the pubic area. Girls also become “curvier”, developing hips and also gaining some weight.

Boys develop hair under their arms and pubic hair just like girls. They also grow hair all over practically! Their face, arms, legs, chest, etc. The scrotum and penis get larger during puberty. Their bodies also change, usually becoming more lean and muscular by the end of puberty. Boys usually end puberty with less fat, compared to girls.

Some boys may develop breasts during puberty, which is known as gynecomastia. It’s always helpful to have any breast development in your son checked out by your Pediatrician. In most cases, it’s normal during puberty, but it can be a sign of an underlying disease in a few cases. Of course, this is one thing that can be a little embarrassing for him, especially when he has to change in front of his peers.

Just like girls, boys will all start developing at different ages and at different rates. If your son starts a little earlier or later than his peers, he may be a little self-conscious about the changes (or lack there of) in his body – just like girls are.

Wet Dreams

As puberty starts, your son may wake up with wet spots on his pajamas or sheets. This doesn’t mean he wet the bed. He likely had a “wet dream”, also known as a nocturnal emission. This isn’t always associated with a sexual thought or dream. It just means he had an ejaculation in his sleep. Many times, it just kinda happens.

Involuntary Erections

Your son can start to have erections way before puberty starts. These erections may happen more often during puberty. For many boys, these can happen randomly, without any sort of sexual stimulation or thoughts. It can happen unexpectedly and cause a lot of boys to get embarrassed. Especially since most people associate all erections with sexual thoughts. It’s helpful to reassure your son that this isn’t always the case.

Voice changes

During puberty, your sons voice will change, and is likely to “crack” unexpectedly. The pitch of his voice can go from high to low, and basically all over the place during a conversation. Eventually, his voice will stick being deeper, like the voices we’re used to in most men. But, while this change is happening, the “cracking” can be a little embarrassing.

Emotions

Just like girls, your son may go through ups and downs of emotions during puberty. The mood swings may not always be as obvious or as significant as a girl’s, but they still happen. Pre-teens and teens of both sexes are still trying to figure themselves out. They’re working on being more independent, but still struggling with the restrictions and rules placed on them by parents, teachers, and other adults in charge. Add to that the increasing stress of school, friends, bullies, and social media. Changes in emotions are normal to a certain degree. But, it becomes a problem when it leads to anxiety, depression or even thoughts of suicide.

What can you do to help?

Reassure him

The first thing you should do for your son is to reassure him that this is all normal. He isn’t the only one dealing with all these changes. Boys are less likely to want to talk about things. So, reassure him that even though his friends may not mention all these changes, they’re all likely going through the exact same thing. He shouldn’t compare his size or appearance to other boys, because they’re all developing at different ages and different rates. Point out his great qualities and remind him that he looks awesome just the way he is. Let him know that this all gets better with time, and eventually the changes will stop. It’s all a part of the growing up process.

If it’s any consolation….at least he doesn’t have to deal with a monthly period like the girls do!

Don’t tease him

For some reason, I’ve noticed that boys tend to be teased a lot more than girls do when it comes to puberty. With girls, we tend to be a little more “hush” and not point out the changes in their bodies. But, with boys, we like to point out every new chest hair or the many changes in their voices. While this may not bother a lot of boys, it’s still important to keep teasing to a minimum. Your son may not come right out and say it bothers him, when it really does. Keep him as comfortable as you can through this unpredictable process.

Be there for him

Give your child a safe place to come to as he continues to grow and figure life out. These tips on handling your daughter’s emotions during puberty can also be applied to your son.

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Give him privacy

It’s important for us to be there for our sons and to provide a listening ear and reassurance when necessary. But, it’s also important to give him his space. Give him the privacy he needs as he grows older. Your little boy that used to run around the house naked may now want to put on clothes or shower and use the bathroom with the door closed. And this is absolutely OK. Give him his space.

Besides the toddler stage, I know puberty is one phase that moms tend to dread. But it doesn’t have to be so bad – whether you have sons or daughters! I hope this post has helped you understand your son a little better, and made you a little more comfortable reassuring him through this process. You can do this!

The American Academy of Pediatrics also has excellent puberty resources HERE

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