Focusing On Your Teen’s Mental Health During COVID-19

Has your teen been feeling isolated during the pandemic and you aren’t quite sure what to do? Read on for tips for focusing on your teen’s mental health during COVID-19.

If you’re a busy mom, I know COVID-19 has probably rocked your world! Routines have changed. There’s a whole lot of uncertainty. And so much to balance right about now.

But what about your kids? How’re they handling all this? Younger kids might not be having such a hard time. (Besides missing school and play dates). Your older kids are probably the most affected. With my oldest daughter, I can tell this isn’t her ideal situation. She misses her friends. And playing the clarinet in band. She can’t go to the mall or movies. Her social life has been completely turned upside down. (And we know for most teens, that’s what life is all about).

My daughter also fully understands what’s going around her in the world. She knows about the numbers of people getting sick and dying from COVID-19. She worries that her mom might get sick or bring something home from work.

And with all these life changes, she’s still expected to get her schoolwork done and help around the house.

Some days, I can tell she’s unbothered and feeling great. But some moments, I can tell it’s getting to be too much.

It’s not fun.

And I understand.

May 7th is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. Our teens face so much on a regular basis. But this year, COVID-19 has complicated things even more, and this day is even more important. I’ve had to learn and adjust as the mom of a teen over the past few months.

Here’s what I’ve learned (through trial and error) when it comes to focusing on your teen’s mental health during COVID-19:

1. Listen to your teen

Allow her to just talk out all her feelings. Try not to comment, judge, or critique unless asked for your input. Be there to just listen whenever needed. And if not you, be sure she has another reliable adult family member, friend, or mental health professional to talk to. Encourage your teen to not keep feelings bottled up. Reassure her that uncertain feelings are absolutely normal during this crazy time. But she has to get it all out.

2. Give your teen some space

Being surrounded by family all the time can get annoying – I’m just being honest. Your teen deserves some time alone. So, give her some space to do the things she enjoys.

3. Help your teen keep track of assignments and due dates

Right about now, school just seems like an added stress on top of everything else going on. But learning is still important. So, encourage your teen to stay on top of things. Offer to help create some sort of schedule or daily to-do list to make sure things aren’t missed.

4. Be flexible

Some sort of structure during this time is helpful. But, your teen also deserves some flex time. If she needs to wake up late one day, that’s OK. If she wants to do schoolwork in the bed or in the backyard, that’s absolutely fine. Sure, some things are non-negotiable, but give your kid a break sometimes. Kids deserve “mental health days” every once in a while, too!

5. Encourage self-care

It’s so easy for teens (and everyone, for that matter) to get sucked into being lazy all day when stuck at home. Encourage your teen to get up, change her clothes, brush her teeth, and to do her hair. It’ll make her feel so much better and much more productive.

Also, make sure your teen is getting enough sleep, eating a decently balanced diet, and getting some sort of exercise on a regular basis. Getting outside for some fresh air throughout the day will help your teen to get a little mood boost – which we all need right about now.

6. Don’t add too much to your teen’s plate

It’s easy to give your teen a long list of things to do around the house, since she isn’t going anywhere or doing too much. But resist the urge to do this. Of course, your teen should still be responsible for her regular household duties. But, don’t burden her with extra hours of work. Give her a break from helping with younger siblings when she needs it. Your teen is still responsible for schoolwork and still needs a mental break on a regular basis to just do nothing.

7. Be a source of reliable information

My daughter comes to me on a regular basis with crazy stories from her friends. Most of them are made up and just gossip, getting her all worked up for no reason. She ends up coming back to me within a few days saying she realized it wasn’t true. I have to keep emphasizing to her how important it is to not believe the hype. I’m sure you’ve probably gone through the same thing with your teen.

There’s a lot of false information out there – especially on the internet. So, be a good reliable source of information and advice to your teen. During this time, explain why COVID-19 is such a big deal. Explain why social distancing is necessary. Kids may not fully understand it. So, we have to give them the right info, or provide a good resource if we’re not sure ourselves.

8. Allow time with friends and other family members (virtually)

While it still isn’t time for hanging out with friends in person, your teen still needs to connect with their friends. There are certain things friends can provide that we just can’t as moms. And that’s OK.

We normally allow very limited cell phone use in our house (because I’d rather my daughter spend time with us when she’s home). But, during this time, we’ve allowed extra time for her to Facetime her friends when she needs to.

9. Reconnect as a family

It’s hard not to be in each other’s faces when you’re home all day long. Believe me, I know it can get annoying. So give your ten some space, but still plan time together as a family.

Since all of our after-school activities have been canceled, we’ve had a lot more time in the evenings to spend together as a family. Our kids have played together outside and we’ve had more family dinners than usual. I encourage you to build in some quality, undistracted family time on a regular basis before things get busy again.

Also, fit in some one-on-one time with your teen. This is a great way to stay connected, make her feel loved and valued, and to pick up on any emotional concerns early.

10. Don’t stress around your kids

We’re all trying to figure out how to make it through this uncertain time. But don’t pour your adult problems onto your teens. Kids nowadays are so aware of what’s going on around them – and that’s not always a good thing. Keep your financial, medical, relationship, and work problems to yourself. Your kids will feed off of your stress, even if you’re not saying it all out loud. Set a positive example. Try your best to create a peaceful, stress-free environment in your home. And don’t add to the worry that’s already surrounding your teen during this time.

Focusing on your teen’s mental health during COVID-19 should definitely be a priority. Try your best to keep some sense of normalcy. Get creative and adapt your regular activities in a way that can still fit in with social distancing guidelines. Your kids need you to help guide them through. Support your kids so they’ll come out stronger and better on the other side of all this!

If Suicide is a concern…

If you’re worried about your teen’s emotional state, reach out for help from a mental health professional. The earlier the better, to turn things around.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) if your teen is in emotional distress or suicidal crisis. Their online Lifeline Crisis Chat is helpful if your teen doesn’t want to speak to a live person.

Do you have any other tips for focusing on your teen’s mental health during COVID-19? Please leave them in the comments below!

And if you’re looking for a simple way to support your teen, grab my printable “Love Notes For Kids” in my Balanced Mom Toolbox. You’ll get 24 notes you can use to encourage your teen through this tough time. Your teen is never too old for you to show some love! You never know – just ONE little note can really make a difference.

Other helpful resources related to Focusing on Your Teen’s Mental Health During COVID-19:

• We Have A Teen Suicide Crisis
• Medical Concerns In Teens
• My Best Advice To Moms Of Teens
• Why I Gave My Kids The COVID-19 Vaccine

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