If you’re reading this, you’re likely trying to keep things straight as a busy single mom. Or you may be married with kids, but have a spouse who works a ton and just isn’t around a lot. You may be feeling like you’re just surviving your day-today. Or maybe you’re thriving? Wherever you are, I hear you. I get it.

Even though I’m married with a super-supportive husband now, I’ve been through it. I’ve been married, divorced, and married again. With kids, school, and work all in the mix. My first marriage was at a time when I was busier than I’ve ever been. But I still took on a lot of the responsibility of caring for my kids and home. After my divorce, I had the support of my new husband who helped a ton. But he lived about 2 hours away for a little while, and I had to fend for myself when he wasn’t there. I remember studying or working on group projects with a kid on my lap. Or signing out my patients to the next shift coming on in residency – while breastfeeding.

I had to keep track of schedules, childcare, finances, etc. While still trying to pursue a career I loved.

The struggle was real.

But, somehow I managed to make it through. A lot of the time, I felt alone, stressed, and just straight-up overwhelmed. Although it wasn’t permanent, I still vividly remember it all. If you’re a newly single mom, or a mom with a super-busy spouse, you’re probably wondering if you can do this. I know you can. Just takes some effort.

Here are a few of my best tips for surviving and staying sane as a single mom:

(These tips can really be used by ANY mom, but are SO important for moms doing it on their own)

1. Make a schedule (and stick to it)

Having a good routine is important for both you and your kids. Being able to knock things off your “To Do” list everyday is a great feeling. And it’s more likely to happen when there’s some sort of schedule or structure to your days. This is important both at work and at home. Your kids will also function better when they know what to expect.

One tip that works well for me is waking up a little earlier and going to bed a little later than my kids, so I can get things done!

If you’ve struggled with prepping for your days, check out my post How To Get Out Of The House On Time, where I share details about my Sunday, weekday morning and evening routines.

2. Make a budget (and stick to it)

As a single mom, you likely already have a ton of things to worry about. Don’t let money be one of them! Things, of course, can be more difficult when you’re relying on one income. Having a clear, reasonable budget that you can stick to will help to minimize financial stress. Dave Ramsey’s Everydollar app is a great budget tool I’ve used and loved.

3. Write everything down

With 5 kids, it’s impossible for me to remember appointments, assignments, practices, events, supplies needed, etc. I have to write MOST things down. As soon as I’m told about something, I write it down on whatever I have on hand – sometimes it’s a random sheet of paper, sticky note or in my phone. Then, I transfer it over to my Living Well Planner and our family’s dry erase calendar at home. This method works for me. Whichever method you use – just make sure the important things are written down. Don’t try to rely on your memory!

4. Get your kids to help out

Kids as young as 2 can learn to help out around the house. Getting your kids involved in household tasks/chores can help to lift a little of your burden. Don’t feel bad about asking your kids to pitch in. It teaches them responsibility and skills they’ll need as they get older.

5. Have a childcare back up plan

If your kid or caretaker gets sick, it’s important to have a back-up plan for their care. This is also important for when YOU get sick and can’t care for your kids. You don’t want to have to scramble at the last minute to find care.

6. Spend quality time with your kids

Kids absolutely love one-on-one time (whether they admit it or not). Spending time with your kids can help to improve behavior, decrease sibling rivalry, and just makes your relationship a whole lot better. Be intentional and actually “schedule” this one-on-one time on a regular basis for each of your kids.

Grab my Balanced Mom Toolbox, which includes these printable “Love Notes For Kids” (below) and so many other resources to help you feel more balanced and show your kids some love on a regular basis.

7. Keep family and friends close

Being the only adult in your home can feel isolating. Be sure to stay in touch with family and friends, who can help out when you just need a break. Or just listen when you need to vent.

8. Co-parent

I know this may not always work out well. But, you may be able to relieve some of your burden by involving your kids’ father. Your kids may also benefit in the long-run if they have the involvement of both parentS. Try your best to communicate, especially when it comes to the well-being of your kids.

And if you’re married to a spouse with a demanding schedule, be sure to reach out to him for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed, voice your concerns. Make your needs known. Don’t keep it bottled up. He may have no idea how you’re feeling if you don’t speak up.

9. Stick to discipline

Kids need discipline. I know it can be exhausting and you may not want to be the “mean parent”. But, you end up doing your kids a huge disservice by allowing them to run the show. Set the ground rules for your home, and make sure your kids are clear on the consequences and rewards for their behavior. If you’re co-parenting or have grandparents and other family members involved, be sure you’re all on the same page with it comes to discipline.

10. Automate what you can

Having a weekly dinner rotation and a system for lunchbox planning have truly saved my life. Online grocery delivery is another tool that I just can’t live without. Figure out ways that you can automate your routine tasks. If you’re able to, hire out help for the tasks you don’t love.

11. Take care of yourself

This is last on the list, but probably the most important. I can’t say it enough – “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. You’re no good to anyone else if you haven’t first taken care of yourself. Be intentional and schedule time for self-care on a regular basis. Don’t make it an after-thought. Don’t leave it as something you’ll do if you have the time. You’ll never have the time if you don’t schedule it! Do something you love. Treat yourself to something special. In this post, I share reasons why self-care is so important – especially for us busy moms.

As a single mom, you’re especially important because your kids rely a whole lot on YOU. I know how easy it is to focus only on their needs and to forget your own. But you can’t be your best self if you’re drained all the time. You have to make yourself a priority – for their sake and yours!

Do you have any other tips for surviving and staying sane as a single mom? I’d love to hear them! Leave them in the comments below!

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If you love these tips, be sure to check out my 170+ page digital library, filled with step-by-step instructions and  the tools you need to create effective routines, manage your time, prepare meals,  clean your home, care for your kids – and so much more!